Comedian Chelsea Handler is best known for her raucous late-night TV show, "Chelsea Lately." In her fourth and newest book, "Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me," Chelsea's friends and family reminisce about their most humiliating experiences at her hands. Read an excerpt.
Chapter Eight: Sisterly Love by Shoshonna Handler
My name is Shoshonna and I am Chelsea’s older sister. My parents told me that before Chelsea was born I was a cute, good-natured, happy-go-lucky kid. Then came 1975 and my blissful little five-year-old world was turned upside down. I had been the baby of our large and dysfunctional family for five years and had loved every minute of it. I didn’t know what to make of the new addition to our family, or why they would have named her Chelsea. Every time I heard her name, it reminded me of seafood stew. I cried all the time.
Chelsea had an all-consuming presence. It felt like being hit by a train. My father has told us all many times over that when she was born, she came out with such a strong cry that the nurse said to him, “You’d better watch out for this one.” Over the years, I became more quiet and pensive as Chelsea’s boisterous personality took center stage.
She was full of piss and vinegar from day one, and could throw a tantrum that would put any toddler to shame. This kid was a force to be reckoned with, and my parents were already exhausted with their other five kids. They were in no way prepared to handle raising this particular child, and their feeble efforts were of little consequence. Besides, our mom was always napping, knitting, or cooking, and was too soft-spoken to really stand up to Chelsea.
By the time Chelsea was three, she had the street smarts of a nine-year-old, and I may as well have been born yesterday. We were complete opposites, like oil and water, and never agreed on anything. If I was watching a TV show she didn’t like, she would say something like “A package just came for you at the door, Shana,” or “Mom just took some brownies out of the oven,” and then take over the television. I fell for it every time. I would come back in the room and wage war in the form of a wrestling match.
I would be the one to get yelled at or sent to my room because I was “older” and “should know better.” We fought constantly and wanted to rip each other’s throats out for most of our childhood. Physically I had the upper hand, but verbally I was no match for her. By the time she was eight, she had the debating skills of a seasoned politician, and I am being completely serious.
Meredith Vieira said Monday that she will leave NBC's "Today" show next month to spend more time with her family, and Ann Curry will replace her as host.
The turnover at television's top-rated morning show was anticipated. Vieira replaced Katie Couric five years ago, and has talked about wanting more free time. Vieira, 57, has three children and her husband, author Richard M. Cohen, wrote a best-selling book about coping with multiple sclerosis and colon cancer.
"Even as I say this and I know that it's the right thing, I'm really sad," she said, fighting back emotion as she made the announcement on the air Monday.
Her co-host, Matt Lauer, said that Vieira "has brought class and dignity and talent and a joy of life to this show for the last five years."
Transitions are unusual for "Today," as Vieira was still the newbie among the show's core four that included Lauer, Curry and Al Roker.
Curry has been with the show since 1997 as the news anchor. Passed over for the top job five years ago when Vieira was chosen, she stuck with the show and carved out a new reputation as a globe-trotting reporter. She was in Pakistan last week following the killing of Osama bin Laden.
"I feel like the high school computer nerd who has just been asked to the prom by the quarterback of the football team," Curry said.
Natalie Morales, an anchor for the third of the show's four hours, will become the regular newsreader. "Today" also announced that Savannah Guthrie will become a host of the show's third hour with Morales and Roker.
Search and Restore — In this new series, a team of vehicle restorers travels the country to answer viewers’ requests for help bringing their beloved old vehicles back to mint condition. In the premiere, a 1967 Chevy Nova II gets the full treatment. Tim Strange hosts.
4 p.m., NBC: 137th Kentucky Derby — The chase for thoroughbred racing’s elusive Triple Crown gets going today at Churchill Downs in Louisville with the 137th running of the Kentucky Derby. NBC also airs the other two Triple Crown races, the Preakness (May 21) and the Belmont Stakes (June 11).
7 p.m., HBO: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World — A series of graphic novels comes to life as title hero Scott (Michael Cera) endures a lot for love in this purposely fantastical comedy-adventure. He has a new romantic interest (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), but to win her heart, he literally must battle all of her former loves ... and the actors who play them include a couple of former screen superheroes, Chris Evans ("Fantastic Four") and Brandon Routh ("Superman Returns").
8 p.m., HGTV: Sarah’s Summer House — This new series follows Canadian designer Sarah Richardson as she transforms the island cottage her husband bought 17 years ago from rustic shack to charming getaway space.
8 p.m., OWN: Extraordinary Moms — From executive producer Julia Roberts and her Red Om Films comes this inspiring documentary featuring conversations with famous moms, including Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Rodham Clinton, and everyday moms, all of whom have translated their love for their own kids into an uncompromising desire to improve the future for all children via their careers, their charity work and their own parental wisdom.
jessica pare,jessica pare hot,jessica pare videos,jessica pare video,piper perabo jessica pare,jessica pare piper perabo,piper perabo and jessica pare
In addition to the discussion over the episode, fans went online today en masse to search for information on Jessica Pare. According to Yahoo!, web searches for Ms. Pare increased by 588%. Jessica Pare isn’t a newcomer to television. She had a role in the short-lived show Jack & Bobby in 2004-2005. She also appeared in movies such as Lost & Delirious, Bollywood/Hollywood, and most recently in Hot Tub Time Machine.
The internet is abuzz with discussion about what happened on last nights season finale of Mad Men (if you haven’t watched it, don’t read any further). Some of the buzz has been good, while others have said that the fact that Don Draper got engaged to his secretary, Megan (played by Jessica Pare), was a bit too soap-operaish for their tastes. Our own Emma Fraser reviewed last night’s season finale (read it here) in case you want more details.
Jessica Pare Nude, Jessica Pare - Lesbian scene from 'Lost and Delirious'
New York Magazine also posted an interview today with Jessica. She was just as surprised about the engagement as the rest of us were and said she had no idea it would happen until she read the finale script. Jessica also doesn’t think Megan’s been working an angle to hook Don into a relationship or marriage from the start. She’s tried to play her straight and honest from the beginning. Whether Megan will end up with ulterior motives will have to be left to the writers.
